Daniel / Homeschool / Violet

“Night Before” Nerves

Year two of homeschooling starts tomorrow.

And it’s funny to me that we even say “first day of school” because honestly, school doesn’t stop.  Learning and life don’t stop.  But still we remember the jitters and fun involved in that blank slate of a first day, so it’s fun to re-create that moment for the kiddos, too.  We hold on to new books and games, letting them get a little sneak peek up on the closet shelf.  We let the mystery and anticipation of what’s coming up next just kind of hang in the air for a few weeks.

To be honest, they aren’t the only ones on the edge of their seat.  I have a case of the jitters, too.  Excited?  Yes.  So excited.  Nervous?  Totally.  I have some things in the works for this year that are gambles.  I don’t have every minute of the year planned out, or even of the first day.  I don’t have everything that I wanted to start this year off right (I’m looking at you, UPS).  And it’s hilarious to me that I’m even feeling this way because our amazing-perfect-wouldn’t-change-a-thing first year of homeschooling was different every day, did NOT stick to a schedule and evolved as we went.

I can feel my A-type tendencies kicking in – the ones that say we won’t survive without an organized binder featuring various sections about chore schedules, meal plans and curriculum guidelines.  (Don’t judge me – I made one this week.)  To me, the start of a new school year can feel like a chance to fix what’s “broken” – to “get organized” and make some “real” academic headway.  But I’m going to drive all of us nuts unless my logical brain parts communicate to the rest of my brain parts what my heart already knows:  My family doesn’t need an A-type control freak of a wife/mom/teacher.  They need me to keep on learning the lessons I started on last year:

1) That God is running this show, and I cannot afford to forget it.

2) That God likes surprises.  My kids often don’t need what I think they need, spiritually or academically.  And trying to plan it all out removes the absolute joy of discovering truth in an unexpected moment.  For us, shooting from the hip is half (ok, more than half) the fun.

3) That God gave me two extremely intelligent children.  They WILL learn all the necessary academics.  Usually at the EXACT moment I stop focusing/stressing/obsessing about the subject and focus instead on the child in front of me.

4) That I’m God’s child, too.  Homeschooling has turned out to be just as much about my development as it is about that of my children.  The less I pretend to have it all together, the better shot we have at getting through the day in tact, with huge smiles on, exhausted from the adventure.

Come on, year #2.  We are ready for you.


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